today's issue : week 33!!!

If there’s something wrong with the outcome of your report or just simply your paperworks in general, you felt so incessantly embarrassed to your boss to the point that if you could only beg the ground to eat the entire you just to escape from this fuss… not to mention the massive guilt that kills you as if there’s a voice in your mind that keeps on bawling you out: why you sooo stupid!!!??!!

I felt so d*mn angry with myself whenever I’m caught up in situation like this. I feel so weak like I will have an infinite misery (hahayyy). Of course you cannot avoid if you feel depress and disappointed in yourself ‘coz who else are to blame in your stupidity.. your rashness..and your recklessness???

But anyways, do you know that it’s even more twice infuriatingly if the liability and BLAME is on you when you are actually not at fault. I had errors then due to my stupid negligence but majority was because of inaccurate datas and flaws from our informants.
But the thing now…it’s a lot different. Well of course my place of being at fault is so consistent. I received an email yesterday from Ts*m0** asking me about the previous report (It was still from last month actually – the week 33 in particular). She’s questioning me about this and that, and that there something wrong..simple as that! As I went over our files it is indeed erroneous. There were slip-ups in the entries and miscalculations on the figures as well. Of course I held liable for this concern because I am in-charge in this particular task in the company.. but this particular report…. I DID NOT DO IT!!! (i did not do it, ok?!?! I was lying at the hospital then, conquering the “stitch of my life“)… but ironically when this was sent a month ago to the “superiors/principals” through an e-mail containing message that was sent by me… (hahahaha can I just kill you?!) I really over-reacted last month about this.. why put my name when you have your own name?? I mean, you prepared for that report.. you did it all well… but… but why do these people are so afraid and timid to put their name for just a stupid email message?!?!?!?! It just shows that they’re just too cowardly to accept undertakings and hold for responsibilities. SO PATHETIC!! For two years in the company, they never mature! I guess this is one of the reasons why the company is in adversity. The company still struggles because the staff never struggle. Of course, I will not excuse myself from my own shortcomings, I’m not perfect and I have lapses but nonetheless, I know that I have exert enough effort and did my part for this company!